Supporting grieving employees following the death of a loved one
For nearly 40 years, The Compassionate Friends Victoria has been providing peer support to bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents along with educating the community on the impacts of grief. We have heard a wide variety of accounts from bereaved individuals relating to how they were treated by their employer following the death of a loved one. Whilst some individuals felt well-supported in their work environment, others recounted particularly negative experiences, to the extent that some felt the only possible solution was to leave their workplace altogether.
In an effort to better educate and support workplaces in the area of grief and bereavement, The Compassionate Friends Victoria, in partnership with the Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement, have developed the following suggestions based on employee’s lived experience of what they have found helpful to help guide and support employers in the development of compassionate policy and practice within organisations.
1
Grief has to be lived through every day. It’s not something one ‘gets over’ like a cold or the flu. The ongoing care and support of my employer helps in easing the pain of losing our daughter.
How to Be a Compassionate Employer
Supporting grieving employees after the death of a loved one can transform your workplace into a space of empathy and understanding. Here are some practical ways to provide meaningful support:
1. Understand Grief
Grief isn’t something to “get over.” Provide managers with bereavement training, compile resources, and avoid assumptions or inappropriate comments.
2. Create a Bereavement Policy
Offer extended leave, flexible arrangements, and clear guidelines on support. Policies like compassionate leave or shared leave can ease the burden.
3. Show Immediate Care
Reach out promptly after the loss. Send condolences, attend the funeral if appropriate, and reassure them there’s no pressure to return until they’re ready.
4. Support Their Return
Implement a flexible return-to-work plan, easing them back into their role at a comfortable pace. Be realistic, and communicate understanding to colleagues.
5. Foster Open Communication
Keep in touch during leave and regularly check in once they return. Designate a single point of contact for consistency and ensure conversations are supportive.
6. Be a Good Listener
Sometimes, the best support is simply being present and listening without trying to “fix” things. Offer time and space as needed.
7. Emphasize Flexibility
Accommodate adjustments like reduced hours, altered duties, or short-notice leave to support their transition.
8. Cultivate Long-Term Compassion
Grief has no timeline. Continue offering encouragement, acknowledging their efforts, and reminding your team to provide ongoing support.
With compassion and flexibility, your workplace can become a vital part of a grieving employee’s support network, fostering resilience and understanding.
2
I was given the opportunity to take extended time off work well beyond the normal number of bereaved days without the pressure of providing a certificate.
There was no pressure placed on me to return to work.
3
That night (of my daughter’s death) I received a phone call from the National HR Manager to offer more support and see what I needed.
4
I was placed on a return to work program which included reduced hours, reduced work load and the opportunity to leave work on days when I did not feel strong enough.
Regular meetings were organised with the assistant director and my manager to check my progress.
5
My employer acknowledged the loss that we had suffered and also ensured that we were coping by regularly taking the time to speak with us.
6
It is the kindness and empathy of my workmates, from management down who simply sat and listened, left me in my own space or just knew when a pat on the shoulder was needed, that I will remember
7
Through my manager, my employer has shown fantastic compassion, set aside time to find out my needs and hear my story and provided practical assistance to help me provide for my family.
8
After my daughter died, I felt very nurtured and was treated with dignity, compassion and gentleness I felt my privacy and my pain were respected which was important to me.
9
My employer arranged other staff to work with me on my return.
They arranged a slow return to normal duties reducing my work hours for six months and were very understanding of my performance at work at this time.
10
My employer was unbelievably understanding during such a difficult time.
As I look back I can see that I wasn’t 100% effective, however my fellow management team supported me 100% with flexible deadlines and were genuinely interested in what my family and I were going through.
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