If I go to a meeting, will I have to talk?

No one is required to talk at any meeting. We understand how difficult that can be when our grief is so fresh. We do ask that you listen, however, and we don't interrupt while another member is sharing their story.

My child was an adult and didn't live at home. Can I still go to a meeting?

Meetings are open to all families who have experienced the death of a son or daughter, at any age, from any cause. Regardless of age, we in TCF believe our children will always be thought of as just that - our children.

Is there a charge to attend?

There is never a charge to attend a TCF meeting. We rely on voluntary donations from members, friends and the community at large and we do receive some government funding.

What happens at a meeting?

Most groups start with an informal time for welcoming people and having a cup of tea or coffee. The formal part of the meeting then begins with the facilitator speaking and perhaps reading a piece of poetry or a short story, after which time we introduce ourselves in turn and share our thoughts and feelings. At this time you may share as much or as little as you need. General discussion then follows and groups usually end with another cuppa for those members who wish to stay.

Can I bring a friend with me?

If you need a friend to drive you to the group, or you need their reassurance, they are welcome to attend. It is important for us to be able to share freely within our group and be sure confidences will be respected. Your friend would need to accept this confidentiality

My partner says they won't come with me. Can I come alone?

Yes. We all grieve differently and they may not be ready to take part just yet...or ever. And, likewise, many parents attend meetings without their partners.

Religion doesn't matter to me anymore. Can people at a meeting accept that?

We think you will find TCF members are very tolerant of any views.
After the death of a child, many priorities, as well as values, change.

I notice the meeting is in a church. Do I have to belong to a church to attend?

TCF has no religious affiliation. Meetings are held in a wide variety of locations depending upon what is available in our communities.

I have baby-sitting problems. Would it be all right to bring my child with me?

While we understand the difficulties of finding child care, we must ask that out of respect for the needs of others, you do not bring children to meetings. We do have a siblings group at our head office in Canterbury for brothers and sisters 16 years and older. The exception to this is the Bereaved by Suicide group which is open to both bereaved parents and older bereaved siblings. At this time we do not provide any services for younger siblings but we can refer you to other agencies where these services are available.

Do I need to speak to someone before I come to a meeting?

No. Just come whenever you feel up to it. Group facilitator's phone numbers are listed in our magazine for contact prior to meetings if you wish.

My child died several years ago, and I postponed my grief work.
Now it's catching up with me. Is it too late to come now?

We all grieve differently. Many parents don't feel the need of a support group until years after the death of a child. It's all right to come whenever you are ready, whether it's soon after your child's death, months later or years later.