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Magazine
Excerpts - December ~ January 2005 |
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Hear
What I Am Not Saying |
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Don’t be fooled by me; don’t
be fooled by the face I wear,
For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks,
Masks that I am afraid to take off, and none of them
are me.
Pretending is an art that’s second nature with
me,
Don’t be fooled; for God’s sake don’t
be fooled.
I give you the impression that I’m
secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me.
Within as well as without, that confidence is my name
and coolness my game,
That the water is calm and I’m in command, and
that I need no-one,
But don’t believe me. Please. My surface may seem
smooth
But my surface is my mask, my ever varying and ever
concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence. Beneath dwells
the real me in confusion.
In fear, in aloneness. But I hide this.
I don’t want anyone to know it.
I panic at the thought of my fear and
my weakness being exposed.
That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide
behind.
A nonchalant, sophisticated façade to help me
pretend.
To shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation. My only
salvation.
And I know it.
That is, if it’s followed by acceptance, if it's
followed by love.
It’s the only thing that can liberate me from
myself,
From my own self built prison wall,
From the barriers that I so painstakingly erect.
It’s the only thing that will assure me of what
I can’t assure myself - that I’m
really worth something.
But I don’t tell you this. I don’t dare.
I’m afraid to.
I’m afraid your glance will not
be followed by acceptance and love.
I’m afraid you’ll think less of me, that
you’ll laugh
And your laugh would kill me
I’m afraid that deep down I’m nothing, that
I’m just no good, and that you will see this and
reject me.
So I play my game, my desperate pretending game
With a façade of assurance without and a trembling
child within.
And so begins the parade of masks,
The glittering but empty parade of masks,
And my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in the suave tones
of surface talk,
I tell you everything that is really nothing,
And nothing of what’s everything, or what’s
crying within me
So when I am going through my routine,
Don’t be fooled by what I’m saying
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not
saying.
Author Unknown
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When we come together as a group, it
is as
though each of us is a well.
We are each engaged in enhancing that well,
which is the well of our life,
and in reaching as deeply into its resources
as we can.
We each go down individually
into the well of our life.
The well of each personal existence is separate
and unique and distinct from every other.
Each individual must therefore
go down into his or her own well, and not the
well of someone else’s life.
We find, however, that when
we have gone very far down into the well of
our own life, we come to an underground stream
that is the source of all the wells.
There are no separations here,
no walls or barriers in the underground stream.
Just as we cannot live someone
else’s life, we cannot go through someone
else’s life experience to reach the deep
stream.
We each must go through our
own personal existence, but when we have gone
deeply enough, we find we have gone through
our personal life, beyond our personal life.
This is the transpersonal connection
that we experience
in the underground stream.
Another way to say this is that
each existence is engaged in finding the way
of life and of being that will be true to its
own nature. It is seeking its own integrity
and in the course of this quest, the inner person
emerges and grows.
It is this inner person that
is the essence and meaning of life.
By Ira Progoff
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Changing
Leaves |
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Changing
leaves me frightened of what the future holds,
Uncertainty, fearfulness,
Loneliness and cold.
Autumn leaves were falling; I began to contemplate
Another way, a brighter way
Of happiness and hope.
Changing leaves bring colors, crisp, clear
and bright
Another day, another step,
Shuffling towards the light.
Changing leaves will drop and die, winter’s
frosty heart
Will serve the earth – all of us
Resurrection – new life.
Written by Mariette Buckle
TCF . VIC. AU
mother of Dylan 18.7.78-12.01.97
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Beauty Tips
From
Audrey Hepburn
For attractive lips,
speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or
her hands through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you
never walk alone.
People, even more than material things, need
to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed
and redeemed;
never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you will find one at the end of each of your
arms.
As you grow older you will discover that you
have two hands, one is for helping yourself
and the other is for helping others.
Audrey Hepburn
1929-1993
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