The Compassionate Friends Victoria

Magazine Excerpts

		Magazine Excerpts - Dec ~ Jan 2004

		Suggestions Which May Help At Christmas
		Last Christmas Bea of Lower Plenty, Victoria wrote to us at TCF. The following is an extract from her letter. A Scottish doctor gave me time and compassion and listened with a very wise heart to my outpourings of shock and heartbreak when I needed to talk before Christmas 1994. Our son Richard had died in August of that year. She said to me "You may think this is a very strange idea - but think about a Christmas gift for Richard. Something he would like - and get something in his memory." It was so hard to think that we wouldn't be sharing any more Christmases with him. Richard had always loved Christmas as a little boy. We have many smiling photos of him on Santa's knee. I thought it a wonderful idea that I could still include him along with the rest of our family in my thoughts and preparation for Christmas. The idea was just right for me - and helped a lot. So each Christmas and on his birthday, I take a lot of pleasure in thinking about and picking a small gift in his memory which can be used and enjoyed by us all. Some ideas I have had include a beanbag for relaxing in front of TV, a special Christmas tin - for Christmas baking, fancy photo frames etc. Maybe these idea will help other grieving parents at this time of the year.
		Sincerely Bea (Bereaved Mother of Richard) TCF Vic Au. Thank you Bea - this does seem to be a positive help to try. Perhaps even an ornament for the tree each year


		Flowers
		You left your imprint on my soul, so I'd remember and not let go. You came back across the worlds that separate us, whispering to me, telling me what I needed to know, you helped me find my way, day after day. You once again felled the ramparts of my heart, to connect me with the love I'd thought had gone. Your boundless spirit would conquer any divide, to make me understand, you're still alive. Written by Mariette TCF, Vic. Aust.


		FORGIVE ME There's a hole where my heart used to be. When I smile at you and say I'm okay, Forgive me. I know you want to help me but I turn you away Forgive me I show no interest, nor do I seem to care. Forgive me. For there's an emptiness now where my heart used to be. Alannah bereaved mother of Angela and Stuart. TCF Vic Au

BOOK REVIEW

"Fiona’s Story"
by
Irene Ivison

A fascinating and gripping read. I was handed the book when on holiday in England, approximately a year after
losing my brother and son both to suicide. I couldn’t handle reading about or listening to others loss
traumas except for this book.

The tragic and heroic efforts of this Mother to save her teenage daughter against the flooding tide of drugs and sexual promiscuity and alien belief systems of groups such as Rastafarians will encourage anyone who has felt powerless before or after the loss of their beautiful loved one.

Of particular interest to me was her desperate- hopeless and losing battles with authorities, the
education and health systems, all influenced by
modern attitudes and laws tending toward removing authority from parents. It is a dangerous trend
pervading decision makers in the UK and, I daresay, over here from our experience dealing with the health system and police department both involved in my son’s tragic death.

Published by VIRAGO PRESS 1977